Pendulum of Heart

Do you ever feel like there are times where you have all the energy in the world and the moment you hit a wall, it disappears? Like it was a bunch of fake silly nonsense only to get your hopes up and crush your spirit? Then, we have something in common!

I hate that this is how my mind works. I don’t know how some people get over such a hurdle. All I know how to do is to push, push, push, but when it feels like I am trying to move mountains, it seems too much.

One of the ways I try to combat these feelings is I’ll listen to music, a lot of instrumental stuff or take some time off, doing something else, like playing video games or watching some movies. Then, a whole new problem of needing to start up the creative machine again and all those lovely issues@_@ That said, I’d love to know from other people how they deal with these sorts of issues. Anywho, until next time, have a good day!


Conflicting Passions

Hi, everybody~

How are you?

I wanted to write/blog a little bit about the creative process in regards to writing and working on a game. I have finished and am currently turning the gears to release my first story and am in the middle of a slow burning build for an indie RPG. However, the two take some wildly different skills and patience.

  1. With writing, the biggest motivator comes from yourself, which can also become your biggest detractor. Honestly, I see a lot of groups for writing and podcasts that discuss the financial aspect of writing, like you should write these sorts of stories to get more bang for your buck. While I understand needing financial backing to eat, have a roof over your head, etc., I think that method of thinking is a really poor way to go about it. Instead, focus on your writing. With the methods available for self-publishing, it’s not such a financial hit to get it done. My whole mindset for Sudraba was, and still is when writing, ‘if even only a single other person enjoyed it, I will have reached another person’s soul.’ Perhaps, that’s way too silly, but I think worrying about trying to make money instead of art is as well.
  2. Other people will not understand your struggles or desires to be left alone, especially when writing or trying to plot a story. This is a bit more subjective, but I feel like a lot of family and friends truly do not understand how difficult it is to work on writing when there are other people around. This could totally be a me problem, but what I end up doing to fix it as best as I can is to listen to instrumental music. Music with words will distract me, so I listen to a lot of instrumental music and let the muse lead me to wherever. Another issue with this is social events will take a beating. However, if you’re an introvert, that may be a blessing more than a curse.
  3. Now, 2 fits in line with game creation as well, but the biggest difference comes from the additional players in the role of creation. Instead of having to depend on yourself to motivate and write, you have others doing the same and you depending on them to get their own work done. This is probably the main reason why a lot of indie game projects end up failing. Not only do you have to work and depend on others, but you have a chance to make great ideas, but are unable to execute a way to make those ideas become reality. Additionally, you may have ideas that clash, so ego may get in the way and conflicting passions are a quick way to make a project dead in the water. I mean, we all remember those group projects from school, right?
  4. This goes for stories and working with others, but adaptability is essential. For writing stories, you have to be willing to alter portions (big and small) as you’re writing. You may have a great idea or scene, but if it isn’t cohesive to the overall story, does it still make it so? I don’t know. We all have our preferences, so if you’re able to stick to your guns on everything you planned on for a story without having to change anything, like characters, plot points, etc., more power to you. As for making a game, unless you have authoritative control on a project, I’d see troubles brewing in the horizon. Certainly, you can fight and make cases for why specific portions ought to not be cut, but sometimes, there are problems outside of the one creator, such as money, lack of personnel, and so forth, which will force the issue to hand.

Anyway, that’s it for today. I hope you have a good weekend and enjoy your day!

Doubled Efforts

How are all of you doing?

So, been a way for a bit, but I think I may have things starting to be situated properly…maybe.

I will be releasing a pdf file of a story I was working on here. It’ll be free, but I’ll also have some sort of tip jar button available for those who enjoyed the story and thought it was worth paying a buck or two.

That said, I will becoming much more active on this blog. I used to do Youtube videos, but with how my situation is at the moment, recording is simply too difficult to do, sadly 😦

More to come soon! Take it easy~

Expressive Hurdle

Howdy hi, people.

I feel like this blog thing is going to take some getting used to.  I sometimes do vlogs on Youtube and those are about as frequent as a full moon.  I guess I find it difficult to express myself or to really talk about things.  Part of it feels like my life is one big bore.  Another part makes me feel like no one cares.  Doesn’t mean that neither one is true, or false for that matter>.<

A few things about myself that wasn’t mentioned before:

  • I like to write and am currently editing a story and will end up self-publishing it, because I figure that that would be my best route.
  • I sometimes make Youtube videos.  I’ve been a bit slow about it the last few years, but am hoping to really step up the output sooner rather than later.
  • I like reading, preferably historical pieces or philosophical writings, but a good fantasy or sci-fi book gives the ol’ imagination plenty of work, too. Some books that I like are Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, the Dragon Prince Trilogy by Melanie Rawn, the Bhagavad Gita, The Worm Ouroboros by E. R. Eddison, and many more~
  • I also like video games, particularly music.  A lot of music is really great for blocking outside noise when I am trying to write.  Whether that is doing me any good or not, I can’t honestly say@_@

I’ll be more active on this as things move along.  Take care and have a good day!(b^ー°)